Thursday, October 7, 2010

Second Post, Second Day

Oh look, I'm posting again. Fancy. Writing? Yes.

    "It's very important," Roshan began, "that you listen to me."
    "Who is this?" Bahden asked Teo. "Why should we listen to her?"
    "My name is Roshan," the woman said. "I apologize for my current appearance, but I needed to get your attention. I don't usually look this average… this standardly beautiful."
    "Wait… Roshan?" Bahden asked.
    "Yeah, that's what she told me before," Teo said.
    "Kids, I'm just like you are. Except older, and I know how to deal with Norms. Think of me as your tour guide," Roshan said patiently.
    "Don't call us kids," Bahden said.
    "We aren't that young," Teo added.
    "I'm over one thousand. I think I have the right to call both of you children," she said.
    "Sure," Teo said, somewhere between sarcastic and resentful.
    "Both of you need to fix your appearances. And I mean yesterday," Roshan informed them soberly.
    "What do you mean? We studied how to look very carefully," Bahden said.
    "And by that he means we work hard on how we look," Teo corrected, elbowing Bahden in an effort to force the other into a more cautious frame of mind.
    "Look, I know you think both of you are the epitome of normal. That's exactly the problem. You're too normal. Your features are perfectly regular, your bodies perfectly fit, your vision twenty-twenty," Roshan said. "Real people, real Norms that is, aren't average. Usually I have a mole on the left side of my chin and a nose a little too big for my face. Nothing that's a big change, and nothing that takes very long to do, but it's enough to fit in much better."
    "I have a question," Bahden said. "I get your point and it makes sense. But there's something that's been bothering me the whole time we've been ground-side."
    "Bahden, don't," Teo said. "She doesn't know, she's just guessing."
    "You… what's your name?"
    "Teo," he replied automatically.
    "Teo, I know that you feel like I'm a threat. But I promise you I'm only here to help. I've been blending in for centuries. I've watched a small group of us be torn apart by Norms, and I've successfully avoided the same fate. Please, listen to me. I won't die with you, but I'd hate to watch as you die."
    "So, umm, about my question," Bahden said tentatively. Roshan turned her gaze to him, and he paled at the force behind her eyes. "Why is the net so quiet?" he half-stammered.
    "Because almost no one is on it," Roshan said, "At least around here."
    "Yeah, that's what I meant. I knew there was a war recently, but I didn't think implant and medical technology vanished," Bahden said.


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2 comments:

  1. They change topics kind of abruptly, but the plot is becoming more and more interesting!

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  2. The pacing peaks up rather nicely and you definitely have my attention. One thing on my mind though is the... maturity?... of the two men. I feel like they lack confidence from their dialogue, especially Bahden. I'm not sure if that's intentional (if so, nevermind!), but he gets defensive rather quick, and saying "So... um..." afterwards makes me think he has no idea what he's doing. Again if it's part of the plan, nevermind! But I already dislike him because of that, he sounds like a teenage boy.

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